Rhetoric1302-007

April 2, 2010

ARRRRGGGGHHH MATEY!!!!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Novak @ 4:52 pm

            Gah how far we have come in the past two hundred years…  Our great republic was born in the fires of war against the mighty British Empire.  We struggled against them once again.  They were the most powerful nation on earth at the time.  Somehow our little nation of farmers held our own.  We fought a great civil war, the bloodiest conflict in our history.  In the twentieth century we stood toe to toe with Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia.  And… Now?  Yes you guessed it.  With all of our military might, three pirates in a skiff boat had the nerve to fire on a US Navy missile cruiser last night.

            Yes our current stuggle is against starving Blackbeard wannabes from one of the poorest nations on earth.  One only wonders if the proliferation of the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy was the inspiration.  Clearly it wasn’t an act inspired by logic.  What trio of madmen in a raft with the awe-inspiring firepower of a handful of assault rifles would engage in battle with an Armored, High-Technology warship with the ability to launch tomahawk cruise missiles hundreds of miles to rain on a target a few inches across while guided by satellite?  Honestly, I am beside myself.

            Oh for all of you suspense junkies who cannot infer the ending of this story, we captured the three pirates and scuttled their toy boat.

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